I've kept my weight off for 8 to 9 years. (I was 192.5 pounds, 5'4", I'm now 140-145 pounds).

I got a tummy tuck to eliminate any remembrance of my fat years. I also got a lift and breast augmentation to boost my confidence, but still I feel like I could always be smaller, be tighter, be prettier. I am my worst enemy I know. I look at myself and see this whale of a person, when everyone else thinks I'm so slim. I believe it roots back to when I had first initially lost my weight.

My dad would continue to say I was fat even after my weight loss. He said it was because he didn't want me to be fat anymore - some form of reverse psychology that worked out for the worse.

I got this idea stuck in my head that if you were skinny you were worth something. I went from 150 pounds down to 125 pounds, and began to look emaciated. I have a medium built frame, so 125 pounds was too skinny for me. My bones hung out, my face looked hollow, my parents now were telling me I was too skinny - I couldn't win.

I eventually went on birth control, around 17 years old, which helped fill me out. I got some boobs back, got a butt, and went from 125 pounds to around 135 pounds. I also began doing a lot of strength training at the gym, and cardio, which helped me gain a good 5 to 10 pounds in muscle mass, but I looked smaller not bigger.

To this day, I still feel fat. If I weigh myself and it says 146 pounds, instead of 145 pounds, I feel fat for the rest of the day. I feel guilty after I eat, even if it's from chicken and vegetables because I have that terrible full feeling.

I know people out there are going to say plastic surgery wasn't the way to go, because it only helped in some aspects, but I don't regret getting what I got. The skin on my belly was something that bothered me for years, I did every ab exercise you could think of, but it never went away.

I waited 7 years, then met with two plastic surgeons and both said I needed a T-Tuck. As for my boobs, when I lost weight I lost my boobs which caused them to a sag a little bit. I had a lot of extra skin on them too, so getting the minor breast lift and implants helped fix that problem.

I know not everyone out there is going to agree with my method which is fine, but that's not what I am looking for. I just want to know and learn how to love Becky (ME) better!