Healthy Food Chart

Hey, for those of you that don’t know “tabula rasa” means clean slate.. and once I reach my target of 8 stone 3 Ibs, I will get this tattooed on my body for all the hotties to see 😀

I’m 19 years old, and about to start uni in 3 days. Just over 2 weeks ago I almost reached my target, and got down to 9 stone, but piled it all back on a drunken holiday filled with dominos, kfc, mc d’s, you name it, i ate it! 🙁 So now the pressure is on to drop down to my normal size. For years I was 8 stone 7 lbs, and never budged. But, I slowly have developed a few eating disorders, which means I have focused on my weight pretty much everyday since last June, and this has lead to my gaining, instead of losing weight.

I want to be at a place where I’m in control and disciplined with what I eat. But, also happy and not scared to enjoy the odd treat without the guilt leading to a binge. My family and friends all know that my weight has meant I have spent a year completely miserable. At times spending months away from my friends due to disciplined low cal diets, and rigorous 5 hour long workouts. Leaving all my spare time sleeping with exhaustion and depression. I honestly am the most outgoing, fun loving, and not in a big headed way, but attractive girl… when I’m at my ideal weight.

But, because I’m quite small framed and only 5’5″, even half a stone is a drastic change to my figure and my face feels it a lot. My confidence is completely destroyed, meaning I’m the total opposite to everything I just mentioned!

I have no idea how much I weigh now. I’m going to take a guess at 10 stone 5 lbs. But, it’s not about weight for me, I have a clothes addiction. I work at Topshop, which means I lovvvvvve the clothes designed for skinny people, and almost everything I own is size 8. So, I will base my diet on how I fit into my clothes. I have a pair of pink skinnies and size 6 strap top. These will be my scales till the end of the diet. When the top fits and doesn’t ride up, and the jean button does up comfortably, that’s when I’ll hit the scales. But, until then I know that if the scales make me smile I’ll be cocky and loosen the diet, and if the scales make me frown I’Il lose heart and binge like a crazy mofo!

It’s funny because as I’m typing this I’m munching on waffles and chocolate spread. I said last night that today was the day, lasted until about 12 and I gave in. Can’t remember what the lame excuse in my head was, but I must have believed it whatever it is. It’s 10 past 1 in the morning, and I’m sitting up because I’m literally scared of laying down and going to sleep cos I’II be able to feel the fat pumping into my thighs, and that’s when the panic sets in. I have had enough of feeling like this, I just want to be happy.

The reason I need to do this is because I won’t ever be me again until I do. It may be vein or whatever, but that’s me! I can’t change that. It’s not that I’m trying to be super skinny or unhealthy, I’m naturally a thin person, I’m actually overweight for my frame. Thats not good at 19.

I need to control the disorders that are making me anti-social and actually slip away from my bests. I mean all the girls have gone out for the last Thursday before we all go off to uni, and I’m stuck at home because I’m embarrassed that I’m slightly chubbier than all my friends, and I don’t want the boys that all used to think wow be like urgh what happened to her!? I know I can’t save myself for freshers, I’ll just have to grin and bare it, and just look amazing after it 😀 Nothing I can do now!

So, anyway the plan…

I’m going to do a 10 day water detox/fast to totally flush the alcohol out my system. I’m not sure how this is going to work during freshers. Possibly I may have to drink. But, I’ll continue the detox during the day. It’s not ideal but ohwel!

Following this I will do a 5 day juice detox, with a different fruit juice during the day. I will then do a week long raw vegetable diet where I cut all fruit, and only eat raw vegetables. I will then go onto Cheryl Coles diet, which is what I will maintain my weight with, this is mainly protein, and much more than 5 a day, and allows for Saturdays off for me to have a treat.

I am confident I can do it this time, and of course I will be hitting the gym pretty much everyday, including power-plates.

Anyway, as of now I have STOPPED BINGEING FOREVER!!! No more food for 10 days 🙂 Mannn I’m gonna miss Nandos. Okay, I’m going to give myself one life line.. I’m allowed one Nandos during the time leading up to the chezs dier, where I’m allowed to not feel guilty.

Any tips or advice?